Well first of all I wonder whether I should also join in the fray by commenting on this game. But I am reading too much nonsense ( it is a strong word) in the media, I had to have my say.
Majority of the people will not share my sentiments but I would definitely want to air my opinion.
Once upon a time I was a great cricket fan, coming from the family of great cricket playing brothers, (three of them being the captains their college team) and used to miss college to hear the radio commentary.( those days tv had not yet come into existance).
But once the scandal of the match fixing hit us with a big bang I felt like a big fool, who had watched in tv every single cricket match. When it was proved that there was indeed match fixing, I felt why I did waste my time watching it when the players (some of them at least) were not playing for the game but for money. It was such a disgusting feeling that I stopped watching cricket even though I was a great fan of the game and of some great players.
Till today I don't watch the matches and feel that undue importance is being given to the game because of the foolish fans (read it indians) while the executives of board of cricket control are rolling in the money they are getting out of advt. (I remember how only 4 balls in an over is shown in the tv , the first and the last ball of the over taken over by some advt.) and players are also getting exorbitant amounts. Be that as it may, let them have money my grouse is not that, my point is , why not they be professional.
Till last minute we don't know who the captain is. The captains, if they are not the blue eyed boys of the board or the influential members, can be just booted unceremoniously after just a match or two like what happened to Venkata raghavan's captaincy long ago.
The latest row about fans wanting the arrogant young(is he young any more) Ganguly to be taken in the team just because he is from Calcutta is too much for me to take. To add to the fuel some stupid coach who happens to be from some other country does something with his finger and almost riots are erupting in our cities.
We should stop playing this game for some time . Once Salem starts quacking we will get the concrete details about the match fixing. This sport which has become an underworld's game and the game of the Board of Cricket control who think they are some demi Gods. If they have to wake up, every body should stop watching this game. It can be done only when people stop watching for one's principle of not being taken for a ride, the game can come back later with a better respect for the people who watch it and make it such a big game in the first place.
But we don't have such collective wisdom of boycotting such things which insult the public.
So cricket will be played as if it is a fiefdom of some few big wigs.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Culture
I have been getting lot of questions in my mind about culture. What is a culture? Is it a feeling felt by a group of people. What can we identify specifically as Indian culture? Is it is the food habits? In that case India has innumerable variety. what about language? Again we have so many. When I was much younger I used to think the temples are the connecting thread as Rameshwaram in south and Kasi in north plays a big role in connecting North Indians and South Indians. But I know now it is just Hindu culture and India is made up of people of other major religions. Is it race which has a specific culture. But we are told that we have Aryan and Dravidian Race and there are different religions within these two races. So my confusion continues.
According to Anand there is nothing which can be specifically called as a culture as it keeps on changing and we get assimilated over the periods of years and years of absorbing and incorporating many things which we call as our culture.
Till the period of British invasion, where the Britishers kept a strict distance between the rulers and the ruled, I think all the other conquerors by and large merged with the local culture(?)and mixed what ever their habits(?) with the local way of life and a new culture(?) emerged.
On a lighter note I can say that when I was much younger while in punjab I was sort of surprised that they did not have any specific marriage sign. like what we south indians have the 'thali' or mangal sutra. when we asked some one he said it is the lipstic and being modern, the girls have also started using it which is strictly to be used by married ladies. This evoked a great laughter among us and used to be one of my anectodes of Jullundar days to who so ever cared to listen for many years.
But now I am at a loss. Is mangal sutra the real symbol of marriage. But many don't wear it in their daily life any more and use it only for some special occasion! it does not make me raise by eyebrows any more to see many not wearing it. Girls /Women go for work in westernised outfit to office and feel that, t his does not gel.
So I can see during my life time itself some thing which I thought was a symbol of culture, no more seems that it is.(Again another question to myself does culture need any symbol?)
Incidentally in vedic period there was no 'thali' and even today until a man and woman take the 'sapta padi' (seven steps) around the fire together, according to hindu marriage Act they are not considered as man and wife legally . The significance of it being any two people taking seven steps together is considered as friends. So basically according to vedic rites a husband and wife is primarily considered as friends.( This concept I simply love very much)
Well I have digressed and am still wondering what is culture? Especially when hue and cry is being made about tamil culture by the self proclaimed guardians of tamil culture in the name of protecting it, but in turn encouraging barbarism.( I am referring to the Kushboo issue)
Like hinduism I think culture is also a way of life, which keeps on changing from time to time and the feeling of good ness we get when we live in a certain way without affecting the sensibilities of others may be called as culutre. When a group of people live in a similar way is this the culture?
A simple thing like cake cutting in a wedding can become a ritual after some years and in a thali tying, tamil wedding it would become a part which no one would realize was borrowed from western culture say some hundred years from now. This may be a trivial thing but that is how culture develops I feel.
So we should not look upon others way of living from an elevated platform and say our way is the best. Everything is a way of life I suppose.
According to Anand there is nothing which can be specifically called as a culture as it keeps on changing and we get assimilated over the periods of years and years of absorbing and incorporating many things which we call as our culture.
Till the period of British invasion, where the Britishers kept a strict distance between the rulers and the ruled, I think all the other conquerors by and large merged with the local culture(?)and mixed what ever their habits(?) with the local way of life and a new culture(?) emerged.
On a lighter note I can say that when I was much younger while in punjab I was sort of surprised that they did not have any specific marriage sign. like what we south indians have the 'thali' or mangal sutra. when we asked some one he said it is the lipstic and being modern, the girls have also started using it which is strictly to be used by married ladies. This evoked a great laughter among us and used to be one of my anectodes of Jullundar days to who so ever cared to listen for many years.
But now I am at a loss. Is mangal sutra the real symbol of marriage. But many don't wear it in their daily life any more and use it only for some special occasion! it does not make me raise by eyebrows any more to see many not wearing it. Girls /Women go for work in westernised outfit to office and feel that, t his does not gel.
So I can see during my life time itself some thing which I thought was a symbol of culture, no more seems that it is.(Again another question to myself does culture need any symbol?)
Incidentally in vedic period there was no 'thali' and even today until a man and woman take the 'sapta padi' (seven steps) around the fire together, according to hindu marriage Act they are not considered as man and wife legally . The significance of it being any two people taking seven steps together is considered as friends. So basically according to vedic rites a husband and wife is primarily considered as friends.( This concept I simply love very much)
Well I have digressed and am still wondering what is culture? Especially when hue and cry is being made about tamil culture by the self proclaimed guardians of tamil culture in the name of protecting it, but in turn encouraging barbarism.( I am referring to the Kushboo issue)
Like hinduism I think culture is also a way of life, which keeps on changing from time to time and the feeling of good ness we get when we live in a certain way without affecting the sensibilities of others may be called as culutre. When a group of people live in a similar way is this the culture?
A simple thing like cake cutting in a wedding can become a ritual after some years and in a thali tying, tamil wedding it would become a part which no one would realize was borrowed from western culture say some hundred years from now. This may be a trivial thing but that is how culture develops I feel.
So we should not look upon others way of living from an elevated platform and say our way is the best. Everything is a way of life I suppose.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Grandma story 2
I am just going to record just one more story of my grandma which has really helped me to always have a positive attitude about life. I feel this story is more about Courage and being fearless, than about Victory as the cursory reading of the story might imply. Before I proceed to the actual story I want to record about what the great Second World War Heroes, Roosevelt and Chruchill had to say about Fear and Courage.
Roosevelt: The only thing to fear is fear itself.
Churchill: No matter how bleak the forecast, courage would carry us forward, for courage is the essential virtue because it guarantees all the others.
Now the story.
In tamil she used to give the heading as 'jayamulla varai bhayamillai' which has become a motto for me in any bleak situation and I always believe there is jayam. If you translate it, it means 'So long there is Victory there is no need to be afraid'.
There once lived a sage in a forest. One fine day Jayadevi the Goddess of Victory came to him and said from today onwards I am going to be with you always. He said fine, but when you leave me you need to come in front of me like this and tell me you are leaving. She agreed to this condition.
He just wanted to test if she is really being with him. So he went to the court of the King and pushed the King from his throne, which is just unthinkable for any body to do. At that very moment the bar in the roof came crashing down where a few seconds ago the King was seated. The King was indeed very moved and was very thankful to the sage for saving his life and asked the sage to be with him as he can protect him always.
After a few days, the curious sage wanted to know if jayadevi is still with him went to the 'anthapura' the family quarters of king and went into the bed chamber of the King and Queen. For any body to do this foolish act only attracts a capital punishment! He dragged the King and Queen out of the bed chamber and within few seconds the whole room was engulfed in fire as a small fire had started beneath the bed without any body's notice. After a couple more incidents like this, the King never allowed the sage to leave him.
One day the King and his men went to the forest for hunting. The sage was also accompanying him. After some time the duo got separated from the group and got lost in the forest.
The king got tired and was taking rest under a tree. The sage was sitting next to him. He saw a Cobra lurking in the tree which was about to strike the king. He did not want to disturb the king and drew out his sword to kill the cobra. At that very moment Jayadevi said Ok time is up I am leaving you. The cobra got suddenly distracted and just dissappeared in a jiffy, the very same moment the King also got up. To his horror he saw the sage with a drawn sword and got so worked up and said 'oh how long have you been waiting for such an opportunity to be alone with me so that you can kill me and become the king yourself' and got him arrested once his troupe joined him.
The sage laughed loudly and was not perturbed by this turn of events. The King was surprised and asked him to explain why he was laughing. Then the sage explained to him all the turn of events and how jayadevi left him at that moment and how he was misunderstood. The wise King understood the sage and he let the sage off . The sage went back to the forest to continue with his usual activities.
Why should we be scared for every damn thing we do. Think always that 'jayamulla varai bayamillai' and keep doing what you feel is right. If you are scared and afraid you just can not do anything. I always like to think that way and jaya devi is always with me and keep doing things if not bizzare things but at least what ever I want to do.
Roosevelt: The only thing to fear is fear itself.
Churchill: No matter how bleak the forecast, courage would carry us forward, for courage is the essential virtue because it guarantees all the others.
Now the story.
In tamil she used to give the heading as 'jayamulla varai bhayamillai' which has become a motto for me in any bleak situation and I always believe there is jayam. If you translate it, it means 'So long there is Victory there is no need to be afraid'.
There once lived a sage in a forest. One fine day Jayadevi the Goddess of Victory came to him and said from today onwards I am going to be with you always. He said fine, but when you leave me you need to come in front of me like this and tell me you are leaving. She agreed to this condition.
He just wanted to test if she is really being with him. So he went to the court of the King and pushed the King from his throne, which is just unthinkable for any body to do. At that very moment the bar in the roof came crashing down where a few seconds ago the King was seated. The King was indeed very moved and was very thankful to the sage for saving his life and asked the sage to be with him as he can protect him always.
After a few days, the curious sage wanted to know if jayadevi is still with him went to the 'anthapura' the family quarters of king and went into the bed chamber of the King and Queen. For any body to do this foolish act only attracts a capital punishment! He dragged the King and Queen out of the bed chamber and within few seconds the whole room was engulfed in fire as a small fire had started beneath the bed without any body's notice. After a couple more incidents like this, the King never allowed the sage to leave him.
One day the King and his men went to the forest for hunting. The sage was also accompanying him. After some time the duo got separated from the group and got lost in the forest.
The king got tired and was taking rest under a tree. The sage was sitting next to him. He saw a Cobra lurking in the tree which was about to strike the king. He did not want to disturb the king and drew out his sword to kill the cobra. At that very moment Jayadevi said Ok time is up I am leaving you. The cobra got suddenly distracted and just dissappeared in a jiffy, the very same moment the King also got up. To his horror he saw the sage with a drawn sword and got so worked up and said 'oh how long have you been waiting for such an opportunity to be alone with me so that you can kill me and become the king yourself' and got him arrested once his troupe joined him.
The sage laughed loudly and was not perturbed by this turn of events. The King was surprised and asked him to explain why he was laughing. Then the sage explained to him all the turn of events and how jayadevi left him at that moment and how he was misunderstood. The wise King understood the sage and he let the sage off . The sage went back to the forest to continue with his usual activities.
Why should we be scared for every damn thing we do. Think always that 'jayamulla varai bayamillai' and keep doing what you feel is right. If you are scared and afraid you just can not do anything. I always like to think that way and jaya devi is always with me and keep doing things if not bizzare things but at least what ever I want to do.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Snow
The first snowing of the winter has started today. I am just watching it from the glass window of anu's house. This is just the first few snow flakes falling on the ground. Since the ground temperature is above the freezing temperature, when it falls to the ground it is falling as water. It is so fascinating to watch this. These are like cotton flakes what we call 'panju podi' in tamil.
I always love watching rains. This is also rain (sleet?) falling as snow. It is just a beginning. So the roads etc are not yet filled with snow and turned white. It is just the snow flakes. This I am told is sort of dangerous to walk and drive as it will be very slippery. I am waiting for the snow fall when the ground temperature is also sub zero and the whole place will look white and lovely. This is what I wanted to look at so long ago in Srinagar. But I can afford to say this is lovely, as I am sitting inside the comfort of the house with a heater system to boot. All the others have to wear layers of dress, remove the sheet of snow from their cars and drive carefully which is such a pain. No wonder these people long for sunny days.
I always love watching rains. This is also rain (sleet?) falling as snow. It is just a beginning. So the roads etc are not yet filled with snow and turned white. It is just the snow flakes. This I am told is sort of dangerous to walk and drive as it will be very slippery. I am waiting for the snow fall when the ground temperature is also sub zero and the whole place will look white and lovely. This is what I wanted to look at so long ago in Srinagar. But I can afford to say this is lovely, as I am sitting inside the comfort of the house with a heater system to boot. All the others have to wear layers of dress, remove the sheet of snow from their cars and drive carefully which is such a pain. No wonder these people long for sunny days.
Grnadma's story 1
Well my grandma was one great story teller, which I have tried to pass on to the next generation(s). One or Two stories are a great favourite of mine which I feel has basic lessons of life inlaid underneath. Though the story is best heard in the original tamil, I want to try to translate it to Queen's language and see how it sounds/looks.
This story has a very funny heading. 'amma amma kozhakattaikku kannu (m)undodi' .ha ha.
Once there lived a family of parents and seven daughters. (I wonder if the seven was my grandma's idea as we were seven kids in our family or was it a norm those days to have seven kids like the two kid norm of today). One day mom prepared a sweet dish (called) kozhakattai. The elders all ate the dish and mom left exactly 7 pieces and asked each kid to take one each. (this is where you can introduce the little kids to simple arithmetic) All the kids took one by turn and when the turn of the (wicked?) 6th one came she ate one and since liked it very much ate the next one also and caught a little mouse and kept it and closed the lid of the container. The poor last kid came and opened and could see the eyes of the mouse. As she had not seen 'kozhakattai' before, she went and asked her mom the question 'amma amma....... 'meaning if the dish has eyes. The busy mom was naturally irritated and asked her to shut up and go eat the dish. She went again and saw the nose, came back and said 'amma amma kozhakattaikku mukkumundodi', now again the mom sends her back. Next the poor kid sees the tail, and runs back again to ask amma amma ko... vaalumundodi. Now this is the limit of the patience of the overworked mom. As the little girl had got scared and threw the lid open the mouse had ran away. So when mom comes and sees the vessel is empty. Mom thinks the girl ate the dish and simply irritating her. she throws a fit and throws the girl out saying get lost.
The girl keeps walking crying and sees a lot of small ants on the road. The little ants come and tell her not to stamp on them and this nice girl obliges and goes further without harming them.
Then she comes to some rose and jasmin bushes which ask the girl to help them as they are very thirsty. she draws water from a nearby well and waters the plants.
She trudges along and sees an elephant in agony with a thorn in its trunk. Since the elephant asked her to help , she removes it much to the delight of the elephant.
Now she has to cross a small rivulet. The river asks her not to make its water muddy and just to cross it carefully. She carefully wades out of the water only to come to a small house which as usual in other tamil stories belongs to a 'ammayar paati' a good old woman.
Here she is welcomed and the 'paati' says come little child you are tired you go and have bath, I will give you food. She asks the girl 'you want hot water or cold water' The girl replies politely not to trouble herself, and will have bath in cold water. But a hot nice bath is waiting for her. Grandma gives her two lemons and asks her to use one on her hair and the other she asks her to throw. She listens to her and hey and presto her hair becomes luxurious. Now when it comes to the question of food, again the question is asked what she wants freshly prepared food or the old food to be precise 'pazhaya sadam' you guessed it right, when she says she is content with pazhaya sadam she is given hot nice fresh food. The same thing is followed about change of dress where the girl who is content with any tattered cloth, is offered new set of clothes. Now she takes enough rest and next day starts her return journey knowing her mom's temper would have cooled down.
Now when she comes near the rivulet it is waiting with lot of 'muthu and pavalam' (pearls and coral) for not making it muddy. The elephant is waiting to take her on its back. On her way back she picks up the roses and jasmines, which are given to her in plenty and the ants give her a sack full of sugar (yes sugar) .
When she comes home and knocks, for a second, her mom is not able to recognize her. When she realizes the mistake, she welcomes home the little girl and now it is the turn of the wicked? one to go on the said journey. No points for guessing the further story line. This girl just does the opposite of her younger sister, by stomping on the ants, not watering the plants, and jeering at the elephant's discomfort and making the rivulet as muddy as possible by jumping up and down and comes at last to the 'ammayar paati's ' house.
Here the moment she enters, she demands loudly asking the old lady to keep hot water ready for her bath and hot food and good clothes. Old lady simply smiles and gives her the two lemons and the greedy kid who finds only the cold water tries to use both of them and looses what little hair she already had on her head. She is given the 'pazhaya sadam' and since she was so hungry she eats it and is given some old tattered clothes.
Now on her journey back the rivulet throws mud on this girl and the elephant gently lifts her throws her towards the rose bush whose thorns prick all over her and the ants add to her woes by stinging her everywhere.
Now she reaches home crying loudly and now the mom really can not recognize the battered girl.
She is taken into the house and the little one explains how she came back as a winner from her little trip. The sixth one has learnt her lesson and promises to share the eats and ony eat her share (hhaha) and they live happily ever after.
I have seen in life, many times it is the 'amma amma..' story syndrome, and when you demand something you don't get it and when you are prepared to accept and give the choice to the other person you get a better deal.
This story has a very funny heading. 'amma amma kozhakattaikku kannu (m)undodi' .ha ha.
Once there lived a family of parents and seven daughters. (I wonder if the seven was my grandma's idea as we were seven kids in our family or was it a norm those days to have seven kids like the two kid norm of today). One day mom prepared a sweet dish (called) kozhakattai. The elders all ate the dish and mom left exactly 7 pieces and asked each kid to take one each. (this is where you can introduce the little kids to simple arithmetic) All the kids took one by turn and when the turn of the (wicked?) 6th one came she ate one and since liked it very much ate the next one also and caught a little mouse and kept it and closed the lid of the container. The poor last kid came and opened and could see the eyes of the mouse. As she had not seen 'kozhakattai' before, she went and asked her mom the question 'amma amma....... 'meaning if the dish has eyes. The busy mom was naturally irritated and asked her to shut up and go eat the dish. She went again and saw the nose, came back and said 'amma amma kozhakattaikku mukkumundodi', now again the mom sends her back. Next the poor kid sees the tail, and runs back again to ask amma amma ko... vaalumundodi. Now this is the limit of the patience of the overworked mom. As the little girl had got scared and threw the lid open the mouse had ran away. So when mom comes and sees the vessel is empty. Mom thinks the girl ate the dish and simply irritating her. she throws a fit and throws the girl out saying get lost.
The girl keeps walking crying and sees a lot of small ants on the road. The little ants come and tell her not to stamp on them and this nice girl obliges and goes further without harming them.
Then she comes to some rose and jasmin bushes which ask the girl to help them as they are very thirsty. she draws water from a nearby well and waters the plants.
She trudges along and sees an elephant in agony with a thorn in its trunk. Since the elephant asked her to help , she removes it much to the delight of the elephant.
Now she has to cross a small rivulet. The river asks her not to make its water muddy and just to cross it carefully. She carefully wades out of the water only to come to a small house which as usual in other tamil stories belongs to a 'ammayar paati' a good old woman.
Here she is welcomed and the 'paati' says come little child you are tired you go and have bath, I will give you food. She asks the girl 'you want hot water or cold water' The girl replies politely not to trouble herself, and will have bath in cold water. But a hot nice bath is waiting for her. Grandma gives her two lemons and asks her to use one on her hair and the other she asks her to throw. She listens to her and hey and presto her hair becomes luxurious. Now when it comes to the question of food, again the question is asked what she wants freshly prepared food or the old food to be precise 'pazhaya sadam' you guessed it right, when she says she is content with pazhaya sadam she is given hot nice fresh food. The same thing is followed about change of dress where the girl who is content with any tattered cloth, is offered new set of clothes. Now she takes enough rest and next day starts her return journey knowing her mom's temper would have cooled down.
Now when she comes near the rivulet it is waiting with lot of 'muthu and pavalam' (pearls and coral) for not making it muddy. The elephant is waiting to take her on its back. On her way back she picks up the roses and jasmines, which are given to her in plenty and the ants give her a sack full of sugar (yes sugar) .
When she comes home and knocks, for a second, her mom is not able to recognize her. When she realizes the mistake, she welcomes home the little girl and now it is the turn of the wicked? one to go on the said journey. No points for guessing the further story line. This girl just does the opposite of her younger sister, by stomping on the ants, not watering the plants, and jeering at the elephant's discomfort and making the rivulet as muddy as possible by jumping up and down and comes at last to the 'ammayar paati's ' house.
Here the moment she enters, she demands loudly asking the old lady to keep hot water ready for her bath and hot food and good clothes. Old lady simply smiles and gives her the two lemons and the greedy kid who finds only the cold water tries to use both of them and looses what little hair she already had on her head. She is given the 'pazhaya sadam' and since she was so hungry she eats it and is given some old tattered clothes.
Now on her journey back the rivulet throws mud on this girl and the elephant gently lifts her throws her towards the rose bush whose thorns prick all over her and the ants add to her woes by stinging her everywhere.
Now she reaches home crying loudly and now the mom really can not recognize the battered girl.
She is taken into the house and the little one explains how she came back as a winner from her little trip. The sixth one has learnt her lesson and promises to share the eats and ony eat her share (hhaha) and they live happily ever after.
I have seen in life, many times it is the 'amma amma..' story syndrome, and when you demand something you don't get it and when you are prepared to accept and give the choice to the other person you get a better deal.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
cowardice or tolerance
Where to draw a line regarding these two. We see lot of unrest and terrorist activities around the world. It is due to the intolerance of other 'religion, belief, people of different ethinic background, langauge, color, creed, caste add anything including gender'
This is leaving the people and youth in general confused as to how to react. If you just stop reacting to such things I personally feel that the violence will abate(reduce) as the theory of revenge 'leg for leg, hand for hand and life for life' will end up more people being killed. But what happens when we just don't react, and you end up being coward not standing up to the right cause. won't it encourage the person indulging in violence and increase it.
We in India have lost so much because of tolerance. We are putting up with corrupt politicians and officials, the harassment of local goondas and in the lowest denomination the black mail of auto drivers who either charge you exorbitantly or simply tamper with the meter.
How many of them you can fight every day for situations you keep encoutering in your day to day life. The irresponsible ration officer who thinks what you have is a bogus card simply because you did not draw your ration for few months, or the officer in the medical directorate who happens to be a medical doctor who harrasses you for an internship for your daughter by making you stand there for days on end just to harass you because he knows from your face that you are a brahmin and he thinks he is avenging for what his forefathers underwent under your forefathers. The list continues including the experiences in the Indian Embassies outside India where they treat Indian citizens as s...
Certain cases you are incapable of reacting as you need the work to be done and put up with all the nonsense.(harassment)
Some times you try to fight when you know there is no big stake which will be lost by fighting. (like in the autoriksha case the worst is you might get hit). Many a time you let your anger by shouting after coming home and sometimes there is some big argument among the family members (without understanding) who interestingly are saying the same point but in different ways and all shouting because each one is saying it in his own way. After making a big issue of such incidents we think we have done our share and get on with life without actually taking any action about the actual incident.
Is this Cowardice or is there a forum for common man where he can register his/her protest so that something comes positive about it.
Tolerance when we are on the other shoe this is what we expect. How can we explain a person who works for us at our home minimum 2 hours a day, without taking a single day of leave, we pay her a pittance of 500rs a month. we are paying per hour less than 10rs. We expect her to be tolerant and happy when we give her some of our old clothes and think that we have done a great charity. We expect her to be tolerant when we go past her with our latest cars and when she is walking fast to go to her next stop for 2 more hours of same cleaning and mopping.
But if every one stops becoming tolerant and starts taking law into their hands we will end up in anarchy. So I honestly don't know if we are cowards or tolerant and where to draw the line. So we take each issue at a time and react according to the situation , the importance to us, our mental make up at that time.
If each individual in Power dicides to do something which will make a difference to the common people the situation might improve or am I again passing on the responsibility as I am not in the Power circle.
This is leaving the people and youth in general confused as to how to react. If you just stop reacting to such things I personally feel that the violence will abate(reduce) as the theory of revenge 'leg for leg, hand for hand and life for life' will end up more people being killed. But what happens when we just don't react, and you end up being coward not standing up to the right cause. won't it encourage the person indulging in violence and increase it.
We in India have lost so much because of tolerance. We are putting up with corrupt politicians and officials, the harassment of local goondas and in the lowest denomination the black mail of auto drivers who either charge you exorbitantly or simply tamper with the meter.
How many of them you can fight every day for situations you keep encoutering in your day to day life. The irresponsible ration officer who thinks what you have is a bogus card simply because you did not draw your ration for few months, or the officer in the medical directorate who happens to be a medical doctor who harrasses you for an internship for your daughter by making you stand there for days on end just to harass you because he knows from your face that you are a brahmin and he thinks he is avenging for what his forefathers underwent under your forefathers. The list continues including the experiences in the Indian Embassies outside India where they treat Indian citizens as s...
Certain cases you are incapable of reacting as you need the work to be done and put up with all the nonsense.(harassment)
Some times you try to fight when you know there is no big stake which will be lost by fighting. (like in the autoriksha case the worst is you might get hit). Many a time you let your anger by shouting after coming home and sometimes there is some big argument among the family members (without understanding) who interestingly are saying the same point but in different ways and all shouting because each one is saying it in his own way. After making a big issue of such incidents we think we have done our share and get on with life without actually taking any action about the actual incident.
Is this Cowardice or is there a forum for common man where he can register his/her protest so that something comes positive about it.
Tolerance when we are on the other shoe this is what we expect. How can we explain a person who works for us at our home minimum 2 hours a day, without taking a single day of leave, we pay her a pittance of 500rs a month. we are paying per hour less than 10rs. We expect her to be tolerant and happy when we give her some of our old clothes and think that we have done a great charity. We expect her to be tolerant when we go past her with our latest cars and when she is walking fast to go to her next stop for 2 more hours of same cleaning and mopping.
But if every one stops becoming tolerant and starts taking law into their hands we will end up in anarchy. So I honestly don't know if we are cowards or tolerant and where to draw the line. So we take each issue at a time and react according to the situation , the importance to us, our mental make up at that time.
If each individual in Power dicides to do something which will make a difference to the common people the situation might improve or am I again passing on the responsibility as I am not in the Power circle.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Preconceived notions
We tend to generalize everything. We have this preconceived notions about everything.
what I see here in United states of America a bout the common people makes me feel that my ideas about them in general is wrong. They are very family oriented and very attached to their family. We have this notion that every other day they just divorce for the sake of divorcing the spouse. The divorce rate may be high but that is not the general rule. There are scores and scores of people who lead a life like us with their family.
I always used to think that americans, 'oh they just send their kids out of the home when they turn 18'. It was as if they just say 'come on you are 18 so please get out'. It is not so. There are many kids who do their college as day scholars and only if they go to the university which is in a different place, they stay in a dorm or take an apartment and they do come home for holidays and week ends! They do live an independent life and try to support themselves as much as possible.
I had this notion that here every body will be up till midnight partying. Actually Americans are the ones who are really early birds so to say. They get up very early and evening they finish their dinner or supper or what ever they call it by 6 p.m. ( 3 p.m. is evening for them and 8 p.m. is night and bedtime) Which ever place I have been I see them getting out of the house by 7. a.m. and come home at around 4.30 /5 p.m. Since they don't have the benefit of extended family one of the spouses come back from work around 4.30 to be home when the children arrive from school.
They have a great regard for family values and give importance to family.
There will be always exceptions to rule and one should never generalize.
what I see here in United states of America a bout the common people makes me feel that my ideas about them in general is wrong. They are very family oriented and very attached to their family. We have this notion that every other day they just divorce for the sake of divorcing the spouse. The divorce rate may be high but that is not the general rule. There are scores and scores of people who lead a life like us with their family.
I always used to think that americans, 'oh they just send their kids out of the home when they turn 18'. It was as if they just say 'come on you are 18 so please get out'. It is not so. There are many kids who do their college as day scholars and only if they go to the university which is in a different place, they stay in a dorm or take an apartment and they do come home for holidays and week ends! They do live an independent life and try to support themselves as much as possible.
I had this notion that here every body will be up till midnight partying. Actually Americans are the ones who are really early birds so to say. They get up very early and evening they finish their dinner or supper or what ever they call it by 6 p.m. ( 3 p.m. is evening for them and 8 p.m. is night and bedtime) Which ever place I have been I see them getting out of the house by 7. a.m. and come home at around 4.30 /5 p.m. Since they don't have the benefit of extended family one of the spouses come back from work around 4.30 to be home when the children arrive from school.
They have a great regard for family values and give importance to family.
There will be always exceptions to rule and one should never generalize.
Team Work
The other day Tejas came home from school and said we all missed out on free time. I asked for what? He said we were all slow in cleaning up and so we all lost on our free time.
Yeah he was talking about his school activity.
I have been observing the kid from the day he has started going to school here. I find now that he automatically, trashes the chocolate cover in the dust bin, and automatically says thanks, when ever I give him any thing. Initially I was worried about his schooling here. He had done his first standard in India and he was able to write very well in cursive hand, he could say by rote the tables upto 10, and in addition he was able to write in kannada also. First few days of his schooling here I was disspointed with the methods of teaching here, and was thinking whether it is a come down for the kid .
Now I am slowly coming to understand that it is about the behaviour and way of life they teach here rather than lessons and they learn the lessons as a byproduct. Once again I have learnt lesson not to jump to conclusion.
The kids do every thing as a team. It is the class which behaves good or bad and not the individual child. He says our class will lose out if we do this or that wrong. Each child takes some snack for the class once a month (the turn comes once a month) so that he can share it with the class. He is supposed to take what ever he likes. So now Tejas searches to get what he likes and loves to distribute it to class in the snack time.
Each child is assigned a job and and jobs are named as door holder,(has to hold the door for others) line leader,(is responsible for forming a line while going to the class) calendar changer(responsible for changing the day for yesterday, today and tomorrow in the calendar), lunch box helper(should keep all the lunch box in a particular place) etc. Some days he comes home and tells me sadly I did not get any job today.
Some times he tells me that some body's mom comes and helps them out in writing and also in arranging the party (fall party for example for halloween day) I am told parents can do voluntary work in assisting the teacher in the class. How sweet.
Each child has a desk and four of them form a table.
No child is compared with the other. When I see his writings which he brings in his home folder (he does not carry any book just a folder called home folder and a lunch box) I ask him how the others performed. He says I don't know I did not see the other's paper.
By and large I see a lot of subtle but welcome change in his behaviour. When I saw him and other kids waving happily to the bus driver yesterday I felt real happy.
They make the kids think on their own. For subtraction he says each child is asked to arrive at the number 2. It is like a game. he came and played that with me saying 31 - 29 is 2 and so on. and was telling me when some kid started going to thousand and got stuck the teacher said it seems don't go beyond 100 . He said so we can not go beyond that number from tomorrow for other problems.
There are certain things which can be added from our system. The tables can be learnt by rote as it is so easy for kids to remember and it is so useful when they grow up. certain simple multiplication they can just recollect so easily because of the rote system. The kids have to be asked to write a little more as the importance is given to reading than writing at this stage here.
I heard a friend in K.L. who lived in USA telling me that once the kids in USA come to Grade 5 they really find it tough to write as they are not used
By and large children are taught to share and do things as a team without losing the individuality.
Yeah he was talking about his school activity.
I have been observing the kid from the day he has started going to school here. I find now that he automatically, trashes the chocolate cover in the dust bin, and automatically says thanks, when ever I give him any thing. Initially I was worried about his schooling here. He had done his first standard in India and he was able to write very well in cursive hand, he could say by rote the tables upto 10, and in addition he was able to write in kannada also. First few days of his schooling here I was disspointed with the methods of teaching here, and was thinking whether it is a come down for the kid .
Now I am slowly coming to understand that it is about the behaviour and way of life they teach here rather than lessons and they learn the lessons as a byproduct. Once again I have learnt lesson not to jump to conclusion.
The kids do every thing as a team. It is the class which behaves good or bad and not the individual child. He says our class will lose out if we do this or that wrong. Each child takes some snack for the class once a month (the turn comes once a month) so that he can share it with the class. He is supposed to take what ever he likes. So now Tejas searches to get what he likes and loves to distribute it to class in the snack time.
Each child is assigned a job and and jobs are named as door holder,(has to hold the door for others) line leader,(is responsible for forming a line while going to the class) calendar changer(responsible for changing the day for yesterday, today and tomorrow in the calendar), lunch box helper(should keep all the lunch box in a particular place) etc. Some days he comes home and tells me sadly I did not get any job today.
Some times he tells me that some body's mom comes and helps them out in writing and also in arranging the party (fall party for example for halloween day) I am told parents can do voluntary work in assisting the teacher in the class. How sweet.
Each child has a desk and four of them form a table.
No child is compared with the other. When I see his writings which he brings in his home folder (he does not carry any book just a folder called home folder and a lunch box) I ask him how the others performed. He says I don't know I did not see the other's paper.
By and large I see a lot of subtle but welcome change in his behaviour. When I saw him and other kids waving happily to the bus driver yesterday I felt real happy.
They make the kids think on their own. For subtraction he says each child is asked to arrive at the number 2. It is like a game. he came and played that with me saying 31 - 29 is 2 and so on. and was telling me when some kid started going to thousand and got stuck the teacher said it seems don't go beyond 100 . He said so we can not go beyond that number from tomorrow for other problems.
There are certain things which can be added from our system. The tables can be learnt by rote as it is so easy for kids to remember and it is so useful when they grow up. certain simple multiplication they can just recollect so easily because of the rote system. The kids have to be asked to write a little more as the importance is given to reading than writing at this stage here.
I heard a friend in K.L. who lived in USA telling me that once the kids in USA come to Grade 5 they really find it tough to write as they are not used
By and large children are taught to share and do things as a team without losing the individuality.
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